Motherhood involves a tremendous amount of change. Mental health advocate Cameron Rogers offers guidance on finding yourself during this transition.
Becoming a mom can feel like stepping into a brand-new life overnight. It is beautiful, overwhelming, purpose-shifting, and identity-shaping all at once.
But for many new mothers, that identity shift can feel confusing and disorienting. Mental health advocate and creator Cameron Rogers (@cameronoaksrogers), host of the Conversations with Cam podcast, speaks openly about the emotional and personal changes that come with motherhood.
Drawing on her experience and the conversations she has with her community, this guide offers practical ways for new moms to reconnect with themselves while navigating this transformative season.
Rogers describes the early months of motherhood as a time when many women feel their sense of self slip out of reach.
As she puts it, “It feels like one night you went to bed yourself and woke up the next day a completely different person living a polar opposite life.”
This feeling is common. Your routines, interests, sleep, social life, and energy all reorganize around caring for a tiny human.
Instead of viewing this shift as a loss, it can help to see it as a transition. You are not disappearing, but rather expanding. It’s okay if it takes time to feel connected to this new version of yourself.
According to Rogers, the first few months are particularly disorienting because “your sense of self is thrown out the window” as everything revolves around your baby.
Many moms feel unsure about their interests, social skills, and desires in this new season. You might question who you want to spend time with or what you even enjoy anymore.
A theme Rogers often hears is that mothers struggle with ambivalence. She explains, “You can love your kids and motherhood can be difficult.”
Many moms feel guilty admitting the hard parts because they fear it negates their gratitude. Naming both truths (joy and difficulty) helps you stay emotionally honest and connected to your whole self.
Recognizing that this phase is temporary can help you approach yourself with more patience as your identity reshapes.
Rogers is clear that reconnecting with yourself does not require long stretches of child care or perfectly planned routines. Instead, she says to “start small and then gradually try to carve more time out for that practice.”
For her, this looked like prioritizing things that felt genuinely nourishing, such as “time with friends, hobbies like tennis, moving my body, work projects that I feel passionately about, or even escaping in a book I love.”
For moms without much support, small breaks are often what’s doable. These moments might happen beside your baby, during quiet pockets of the day, or in short windows when someone else is briefly available.
What matters is that the activity is solely for you, as Rogers emphasizes.
These moments do not need to look like your pre-motherhood routines. Their value comes from reminding you that you still have interests, friendships, and desires that exist outside of your mom role.
As Rogers puts it, “I love being a mom and it is a huge part of my identity, but it is not the sole part of my identity.”
Over time, choosing these small pockets helps you reconnect with yourself in meaningful, sustainable ways.
Take 15 minutes for yourself
For moms who feel unsure where to start, Rogers suggests a simple structure: “Carve out 15 minutes of every day for two weeks that is solely for you doing something that brings you joy.”
This creates routine, builds confidence, and helps you notice what energizes you now. And if fifteen minutes feels impossible, scaling down still maintains the spirit of the practice.
Connection plays a significant role in identity-building for Rogers. “I am such a proponent of community and female friendships and I would be lost without mine,” she says.
Friends and supportive partners offer grounding, shared understanding, and a reminder of the parts of yourself that existed before motherhood.
Even small connections count. A quick check in with a friend, a short walk with another mom, or simply having someone to share honestly with can strengthen your sense of self.
If prioritizing your needs triggers guilt, Rogers offers a meaningful reframe: “Studies show that the best thing for a child’s development is maternal mental health.”
Taking care of yourself is not a luxury; it is a protective factor for your child. When you feel well and nourished, you parent from a place of presence rather than depletion.
In other words, self-care in motherhood is an investment in the environment you are creating for your child.
Rogers describes some of the strengths she has developed from becoming a mother: “I feel strongly aligned with my sense of self and listen to that inner voice a lot more than I did before having children.”
Paying attention to that intuition helps you notice which choices genuinely support you, what no longer fits, and where to carve out space to feel grounded.
Over time, following that inner guidance reinforces self-trust and confidence in your own judgment, both as a parent and as an individual.
Reconnecting with yourself after becoming a mom requires embracing who you are becoming rather than trying to return to who you were.
While motherhood changes your identity, it can also bring unexpected growth, clarity, and confidence. Through small daily practices, honest reflection, supportive connections, and carving out even brief moments for yourself, you can rebuild a sense of self that feels grounded and renewed.
In fact, Rogers notes that although motherhood comes with intense challenges, it has also given her purpose and revealed strengths she hadn’t recognized before.
She reflects, “[Motherhood] has provided me a newfound confidence and sense of self that I didn’t know I was missing.”